What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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