I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
