drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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