I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
There are leaves in my underwear?
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