dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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