My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
