I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm passing your future prison.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
