Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
