guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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