Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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