Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
