Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
