All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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