I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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