My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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