We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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