they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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