Three words: puerto rican gang bang
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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