I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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