i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
