I bet he comes in French.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
