so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
