Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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