I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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