isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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