the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
