she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
