Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
