Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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