why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
