it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My balls are so social today.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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