And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
