Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
