I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
