i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
