She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
