I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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