Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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