my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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