I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
