Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
