Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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