The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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