At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
NoShamevember. You game?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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