i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
