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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
