Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
