3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
