I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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