Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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