Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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