She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
