when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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